Let me start by saying that I’ve never been a fan of the term classroom management. It calls to mind clip charts, color-coded behavior systems, and a teacher’s firm hand keeping students “in line.” I remember experiencing different “public embarrassments” growing up, like seeing my name on the board or being told to “pull a card” when my behavior was not up to my teachers’ standards. (Even worse was when a teacher took away recess privileges for the entire class because of a few students’ behavior.) Admittedly, I used some of these practices in my early years of teaching.
Too often, classroom management is more about controlling students than connecting with them. In classrooms full of young people carrying hopes, histories, and whole cultural identities, control doesn’t build community—belonging does.
Traditional classroom management emphasizes compliance, usually in ways that mirror dominant, individualistic cultural norms (e.g., prioritizing rule-following and self-regulation). However, these norms don’t always reflect our students’ values and lived experiences. What works in one context can feel stifling in another—especially when we expect all students to conform to a narrow definition of the “ideal student.” As Alfie Kohn (2021) points out, when we prioritize control over consultation (involving students in decision making), we miss the opportunity to build classrooms where students feel seen, heard, and respected.
Instead of asking, “How do I manage behavior?”, what if we asked, “How do I create conditions where students feel they belong?” This shift opens up a new path forward—a mindset I call the Teacher VIBE: Valuing Inclusion and Belonging for Everyone.
To understand why this mindset matters, we first need to examine what’s not working with our current approach.
The Limits of Traditional Classroom Management
Most teacher preparation programs still emphasize classroom management as a foundational skill that ensures order and keeps lessons flowing. However, too often, this focus reduces students to a list of behaviors to monitor rather than individuals to connect with. The strategies offered are usually rooted in rigid expectations: “keep students seated,” “minimize disruption,” and “use consequences to deter negative behavior.” While structure and consistency matter, these approaches often miss the bigger picture, especially in classrooms shaped by cultural diversity and post-pandemic challenges.
Kohn (2021) argues that the overemphasis on compliance reflects an outdated paradigm in schools that’s more about power than partnership. And when control becomes the priority, connection suffers. What’s often labeled as “misbehavior” can be a student’s way of navigating a space that doesn’t reflect their culture, language, or way of being. Traditional discipline systems may unintentionally penalize students who don’t fit these narrow norms, reinforcing exclusion instead of fostering inclusion.
The very concept of classroom management is due for an overhaul. Classroom management shouldn’t be about managing students, it should be about designing environments that support their ability to self-regulate, contribute meaningfully, and feel safe being themselves. That shift doesn’t just reduce conflict; it transforms classroom culture.
Instead of managing students, what if we focused on making them feel like they matter—not just as learners, but as whole people?
Embracing the Teacher VIBE
Instead of managing students, what if we focused on making them feel like they matter—not just as learners, but as whole people with identities, strengths, and stories? That’s the mindset behind the Teacher VIBE. It’s not a behavior chart. It’s not a checklist. It’s a way of being.
At its core, the Teacher VIBE is about balance—honoring both individualistic and collectivist cultural values in the classroom. Some students thrive on personal achievement, autonomy, and standing out. Others feel most comfortable contributing to the group, collaborating, and maintaining harmony. The challenge—and opportunity—for educators is to design a learning space where both orientations feel seen and supported.
Let’s break down what the VIBE looks like in action:
- Valuing each student’s unique background, perspective, and contributions.
- Inclusion through practices that ensure every student has a seat at the table.
- Belonging by creating rituals, relationships, and routines affirming every student’s place in the community.
- Everyone, because belonging isn’t a privilege for a few—it’s a right for all.
This mindset doesn’t require a program or a curriculum. It requires presence, reflection, and intentionality. When teachers embody the VIBE, they move beyond managing behavior to cultivating classrooms rooted in dignity, equity, and connection.
Why Cultural Norms Matter
In many ways, a refrigerator tells the story of a family’s values. I grew up in a home where everything in the fridge had a name or a purpose. “That’s for dinner,” “That’s your brother’s,” “Don’t touch the juice—you’ve had your glass for the day.” Each item had rules. It wasn’t about being strict but respecting boundaries, ownership, and personal responsibility. That refrigerator reflected individualistic cultural norms.
Years later, our fridge told a different story in my own home. If you were hungry, you ate what you found. Nothing was labeled. There were no designated snacks. Guests, kids, and adults all shared food. The fridge had become a collective resource, a symbol of shared responsibility and communal care. That personal shift in my household mirrored a larger pattern I’ve seen in schools and communities—a move, in some settings, from individualistic to more collectivist ways of being. These contrasting norms (individualism and collectivism) often coexist in classrooms—and if educators aren’t aware of this, they risk misinterpreting students’ behavior through a culturally biased lens.
Understanding the Spectrum
According to Geert Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions Theory (Hofstede, Hofstede, & Minkov, 2010), one of the most influential frameworks for understanding cultural differences is the continuum of individualism vs. collectivism. In individualistic cultures (like in the United States), independence, personal achievement, and self-reliance are emphasized. In collectivist cultures (common in parts of Asia, Africa, and Latin America), group harmony, shared responsibility, and interdependence are more deeply valued.
Hofstede’s research revealed that the U.S. ranks among the highest on the individualism index, reflecting a deeply ingrained cultural belief in personal freedom and achievement. It’s not surprising that those beliefs are baked into our educational structures—from how we grade students to how we assign work and define “good behavior.”
One Student, Two Interpretations
Consider Mark, a middle schooler who prefers moving around the classroom, checking in with classmates, and asking questions like, “What did you get for number 5?” Instead of working alone, he seeks connection and collaboration. From a traditional classroom management lens, Mark might be labeled as off-task or disruptive. But if we pause to consider Mark’s cultural background and learning preferences, his behavior might be communicating something else entirely: I learn best with others. I feel comfortable when we’re working as a team.
In many collectivist cultures, learning is a communal experience. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a form of engagement. By interpreting Mark’s behavior through an individualist lens, we risk labeling cultural differences as discipline problems.
Small intentional shifts can radically change how students experience school.
Bridging the Gap with the Teacher VIBE
This is where the Teacher VIBE becomes essential. Understanding cultural orientations isn’t just about avoiding missteps; it’s about actively creating classroom environments that honor how students naturally engage, think, and relate to others.
- For individualistic learners, that might mean offering independent projects, personal goal setting, and private reflection activities that uplift autonomy and self-expression.
- For collectivist learners, that might mean planning group tasks, classroom roles, and co-created learning experiences where harmony and collaboration take center stage.
The goal isn’t to choose one over the other. It’s to recognize and respect both, and to observe how students show up in the classroom: Do they seek out group roles or prefer solo tasks? Do they shine in collaboration or thrive in independence? Understanding these patterns can help teachers design learning spaces where every student sees themselves reflected and respected. Cultural norms aren’t homogeneous—just like refrigerators. The question is: Are we labeling the orange juice, or are we saying, “If you’re thirsty, drink”?
Culture vs. Learning Preference
Too often, teachers mistake cultural expressions for personality quirks or learning preference. A student who needs quiet time before speaking? A student who avoids the spotlight or doesn’t jump at the chance to present solo? These behaviors might reflect a cultural orientation toward harmony, reflection, or collective achievement—not disengagement.
For example, I once observed a student who rarely volunteered in large group discussions, leading some teachers to assume she was disinterested. But in smaller peer settings, she was insightful and articulate. What I learned was she simply valued listening and felt it was respectful to let others speak first; a norm rooted in her family’s collectivist values. When we take time to learn students’ cultural contexts, their behaviors often tell a very different story.
As Hofstede (2010) explains, culture shapes how we interpret authority, process feedback, and perform under pressure. Learning preference may describe how students absorb content, but culture informs their engagement with the learning experience. One student might see participation as raising a hand quickly; another may value listening deeply before contributing, especially if speaking up too soon could feel self-serving or disrespectful in their cultural context.
When we conflate behavior with motivation—or culture with defiance—we misdiagnose the problem and mistreat the student. That’s why culturally responsive teaching is more than a buzzword. It’s a commitment to seeing students clearly and affirming their full humanity.
The Pressure to Perform and the Fear of Not Belonging
In our schools, especially those built around individualistic values, students from collectivist cultures often experience pressure to assimilate. They may hesitate to use their home language, downplay their family traditions, or even modify their names—all in an effort to blend in. I once had a student, Minh, who asked to go by “Michael” because he was tired of classmates mispronouncing his name and he wanted to avoid standing out. It was a small change with a heavy emotional cost, one that spoke volumes about what he felt he had to do to belong.
This can lead to a kind of silent exhaustion—a constant mental calculation of how to adapt, mask, or minimize oneself to be accepted. And when that pressure starts early, it can shape how students see school—not as a space for belonging but as a space for survival.
We have to ask ourselves: What message are we sending when we celebrate only the loudest voices, reward only the students who shine individually in competitive or public ways, or equate confidence with charisma?
What’s needed is a balanced classroom that allows for different ways of being, engaging, and learning. That’s what the Teacher VIBE is all about.
Classroom management isn’t about asserting control; it’s about building community.
Practical Classroom Shifts
The Teacher VIBE comes alive through everyday choices—how we arrange desks, design lessons, and handle conflict. Small intentional shifts can radically change how students experience school. Here’s what that looks like in practice.
1. Rethink the Room
Our classroom space speaks to students, sometimes louder than we think. Traditional layouts with rows of desks and a teacher’s desk front and center reinforce hierarchy. They tell students to face forward, work alone, and follow the leader.
But flexible, student-centered seating—like clusters, circles, or cozy corners—sends a different message: You belong here. You’re part of this community. Research backs this up: Collaborative physical seating arrangements foster peer interaction, engagement, and a sense of ownership (Gremmen et al., 2016; Tobia et al., 2022).
2. Co-Create a Classroom Agreement
Instead of posting rules, invite students to help create community norms. Ask: “What kind of classroom helps us all succeed? What do you need from your peers and teacher to feel safe and respected?”
When students help define expectations, they’re more likely to buy into them. They also learn how to navigate differences, advocate for their needs, and honor each other’s voices. In one class, students came up with a norm they called Listen Loudly, which they defined as showing respect by leaning in, making eye contact, and asking follow-up questions when a peer shares. Another group coined the phrase Pause to Process as a collective reminder that thinking time matters and we don’t all need to respond immediately. These kinds of co-created norms reflect both ownership and awareness of different ways of being.
3. Celebrate Both Individual and Collective Wins
Some students feel seen when you celebrate them, and others light up when their group shines. Recognize both. Spotlight a student’s leadership during a group task. Applaud the teamwork it took for a table group to solve a problem. Affirm effort just as much as outcomes.
4. Let Students Lead
Leadership fosters voice, ownership, and confidence—key ingredients for a strong sense of belonging. When students have opportunities to guide learning, they see themselves as valued contributors to the classroom community.
Offer choice in how students engage with content or demonstrate their learning—whether through presentations, group facilitation, artistic expression, or technology. Invite co-teaching moments where students plan mini-lessons or lead portions of class based on their interests and expertise. These opportunities let students draw on their lived experiences and help shape how the class learns together.
In my history classroom, students took the lead during our History Through Our Eyes project, where they chose a historical event and connected it to a current issue that mattered to them. One student led a compelling session on the Civil Rights Movement by connecting it to voting rights today, guiding her classmates through primary source analysis and a structured debate. Others cofacilitated Socratic seminars, crafting essential questions and managing the flow of dialogue. These leadership experiences didn’t just deepen their understanding of history, they helped students feel seen, trusted, and respected. Leading became a form of belonging, where students recognized that their voice mattered.
Start with Belonging
As Carol Ann Tomlinson (2023) reminds us, “Learning requires structure and order, but the structure and order should be in service of learning—not for the sake of demonstrating who’s in charge.” That’s the heart of this shift. Classroom management isn’t about asserting control; it’s about building community.
When we start with belonging, everything else flows from there. Students show up more fully, relationships deepen, and the classroom transforms from a space of compliance to a space of connection.
The Teacher VIBE offers a new way forward—not a checklist, but a commitment to valuing inclusion and belonging for everyone. When students know they matter, they don’t just behave better, they become better learners, better teammates, and better versions of themselves.
Reflect & Discuss
What would change if you asked, “How do I create conditions where students
feel they belong?” instead of, “How do I manage behavior?”Do your classroom norms honor both individual achievement and group harmony?
