Much of my work as a teacher, principal, and school design coach has focused on re-engaging secondary students who have, for various reasons and sometimes through a series of "bad choices," fallen out of favor with school. Two years ago, I was in a meeting of the principals in my district, where our new superintendent had just announced her intent to end out-of-school suspensions by 2015. She asked us to read through detailed incident reports documenting hundreds of suspensions from the prior school year, and it was embarrassing to see how many suspensions snowballed from requests to remove a hat, tuck in a shirt, sit in a different place, put away a cell phone, and other minor infractions. What should have been simple interactions escalated into power struggles culminating in the student crossing some line of defiance or insubordination resulting in suspension. As the superintendent had hoped, the conversations in the room shifted from controlling negative student behaviors to reducing ineffectual adult behaviors.
Looking around the room at these 30 or so administrators, I wondered what would happen if I suddenly stood up, knocked over my chair, shouted obscenities at my table mates, and stormed out of the room. If you work in a professional setting where you know your colleagues reasonably well, as I did, I think it's easy to imagine. One or two close colleagues would run out after me to catch up and find out what was wrong. I can picture the concern and caring in their faces. Those left behind in the room would wonder what had so troubled me, perhaps asking one another if anyone knew of anything going on with me outside work that could trigger such a reaction. I imagine the superintendent would refocus the group by saying something to the effect that my supervisor would be following up with me to get to the bottom of the matter and determine the appropriate response.
Why do behaviors that elicit concern and supportive interventions among colleagues often trigger disciplinary action for students? Reflecting on this question and how it pertains to my work as a design coach in schools, I think the simplest answer might be empathy. When we know someone well, or at least well enough to see ourselves in them, it's easier for their misbehavior to lead us to imagine several things: first, that they aren't happy about what happened; second, what circumstances might have led us to do the same thing; and third, how we'd like others to respond to us in that situation.
In my experience, the schools that deal most effectively with second chance students are those with the greatest capacity for empathy. They are committed to the design priority that every student will be known well by multiple adults. Consider these strategies for building the capacity for empathy at the classroom or whole-school level:
Take inventory: Invite teachers to list every student they feel they know very well. This can be hard to define, but suggestions like "you've had multiple long conversations with them" or "you know they'd feel comfortable confiding in you in a difficult situation" can be helpful. Don't give a target number. Some teachers will have longer lists than others. When done, make a master list of all the students named, and see which students in the school are unlisted. Relationship inventories like these can be a strong motivator for staff to work together to strengthen student relationships.
Sadly, in my experience, it is not uncommon for a third or more of the students in a large middle or high school to appear on no one's list. Similarly, schoolwide surveys asking students how many adults at this school know them well often yield many zeros. In response to such findings, a staff or grade level team might simply assign each team member a list of those "unknown" students with the charge to engage them by, for example, striking up informal conversations, during lunch or in between classes, to learn more about the students and their interests. Teachers can then share what they learn with colleagues and try to make connections.
Share interests: Your students may know you as the math teacher, but do they know you are a musician or an expert bike mechanic or a dollhouse builder? Interest-based clubs, events, forums, or other venues where students and adults can connect around shared interests can be a powerful culture-builder.
Schools with advisories or other structures designed to support teacher–student relationships already have time set aside for such sharing. Other possibilities include creating an interest-based "project week" where staff and students convene not based on teachers' endorsements and students' need for those credits, as is often the case, but instead around shared interests. Develop a schedule of daily workshops, discussions groups, and field experiences led by a mix of students and staff. A more simple way to share interests would be to invite staff and student to create life maps and then host an event during which teachers and students mill about, sharing their stories and looking for connections.
Share struggles: I know a middle school that frequently hosts local professionals to talk with students. Instead of talking to a large audience about their profession, they break into smaller groups and respond to student-generated questions about how they got where they are and what some of their biggest struggles have been. Students say that hearing adults talk openly about their challenges helps them to put their own struggles in perspective and to feel more connected to adults generally. I've also heard this feedback from students about teachers they trust. Sharing your vulnerabilities with students can increase their trust toward establishing a stronger relationship with you. This video from MetWest school in Oakland, Calif., shows how this might play out in an advisory classroom.
Share decisions: Another powerful relationship- and culture-building step is to incorporate students into a meaningful decision-making process with adults at the classroom or whole-school level. Adam Fletcher's article, "Examining the Meaning of Student Involvement: The Ladder of Student Involvement in School," includes a helpful graphic for reflecting on the current state of student involvement in your school and setting goals for achieving higher levels of involvement.
I have worked with several schools where students and adults collaborate as peers in staff hiring, student recruitment and enrollment processes, and restorative justice. A school struggling to enforce student compliance with electronics policies, dress codes, attendance, discipline—really any issue related to school culture—might assemble a representative group of students and task them with adopting a set of norms applicable to everyone in the community, staff and students alike. Adults could be resources to this group by sharing insights from past workplace cultures they've been part of and by being honest about what shared community norms they could wholeheartedly support.
Research restorative justice: Developing the means to respond to behavioral issues in ways that strengthen community and restore relationships is essential to supporting second chance students. Restorative justice is trending as a way to build student capacity to solve conflicts and make positive choices. A collection of resources from Edutopia provides a window into schools and districts using this approach to classroom management.
Send them off: A simple practice that strengthens adult–student relationships across typical channels is the Send-Me-Off. I have seen schools conduct these as an all-school gathering at the end of the school day on Friday. They last about 20 minutes, and sometimes there is a short student performance or series of announcements from students and adults. The highlights, however, are the shout-outs. At the last one I attended, two teachers appreciated a student for an outstanding project, a student appreciated a teacher for helping plan a college visit, and another student appreciated a teacher for just "being cool."
In the end, we tend to empathize best with those we know, so the highest leverage strategies for engaging, retaining, and accelerating second chance students are those that connect students and adults in knowing each other well.