The rising tide of youth violence is one sign of it. Even teachers and principals fall victim to it occasionally, lashing out at one another or seething in silence.
"It" is the inability to resolve conflicts with others constructively. But experts in conflict resolution say students and educators alike can learn how to minimize the destructive potential of conflicts and even turn them into situations where everybody wins.
Most of us "were never taught the skills for solving problems constructively," believes Annette Townley, executive director of the National Association for Mediation in Education (NAME). People often exacerbate conflicts by handling them in destructive ways or they're so worried about conflicts becoming destructive that they avoid them altogether, says Ellen Raider, training director of the International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution at Teachers College, Columbia University. The result? Hurt feelings, "compromises" that don't stick, or worse. Constructive methods for addressing conflict do exist, however, if educators and students have the skills and the willingness to explore them.
Two trends are providing impetus for efforts to train students and teachers in the skills of conflict resolution. One is growing concern over youth violence, which experts believe is influenced by students' inability to negotiate constructive solutions to conflicts. The other is the trend toward school-based decision-making teams. As teachers, parents, and administrators begin to make decisions collectively, they need, more than ever, skills in teamwork, "win-win" negotiating, and cultural sensitivity.
Some schools and school districts are moving forward with conflict-resolution programs for students and adults. Typical strategies include training students to mediate disputes among their peers, teaching conflict resolution as part of the curriculum, or training staff in conflict-resolution strategies.
The most successful school programs involve both students and educators, experts say, because conflict-resolution programs work best where all members of the school community share some common norms and strategies for dealing with conflict. The models that students see as they watch educators interact are important, says Alan Borer, director of guidance support services for the New York City public schools, which has a substantial conflict resolution program. "It's the way we [adults] do business with each other: that gives kids an example of another way to work out their disputes."