I never truly understood what it meant to be in a classroom on a bad day until I started teaching. If I have an off day, my students feel it immediately, and it colors the whole day. I've learned how to deal with the negative feelings that might influence my teaching; my 4th grade students, however, are still learning that skill, and that can make for a very interesting day.
My philosophy of teaching is long but basically boils down to my students' well-being. If my students are not happy, then what is all our work for? What am I doing as a teacher if not trying to enrich my students' lives? I see them more than I see my family, and that's true for some of my students as well. Although I don't have a magic formula that works to ensure my students' happiness every time they are struggling with emotions, I have found something that is fairly reliable: the gift of time.
When my students are having a hard time emotionally, I let them know that they can take time and space to process their feelings. I tell them I am there if they want to talk, and then instruct them to join the class when they are ready. This approach is my go-to for my students with high anxiety, but it also works with my moody, didn't-want-to-get-up-this-morning kids. I am not a therapist, but I try to offer my students strategies that work in my own life. The last thing I want when I am feeling emotionally unwell is for someone to continuously ask me about it. Whether it's sadness, stress, or anger, I appreciate having time to process it in my own way.
Can a time-strapped classroom realistically dole out more time? Yes, with parameters. For my 4th graders, I ask them to check in in a few minutes or tell them that I will come back to check on them in a certain amount of time. Other times, I leave something that they like next to them, usually a squishy toy of some kind or a calming rock (like a worry stone), and tell them it's there if they need something to manipulate or fidget with to destress. Giving my students the gift of time lets them know that their problems are as valuable as mine. It's like crying in front of a mirror; sometimes we just need to acknowledge that this is a bad day and just let it all out. Time gives my student that space, the bubble they need to process.
Once the time is up, I give my students a couple of choices for how they can reboot their day. The choices often involve standbys like taking a walk or getting a drink of water, but I also include an option to tell me a story, and I prompt something completely unrelated to what they may be feeling. I have found that with some of my students, open-ended questions don't quite get them out of a funk, so I start by giving them a set of yes-or-no questions and gradually ask them to share something random. Talking about a past holiday or a favorite sport or memory gives them the skills they need to distract their mind from what is bothering them. Sometimes, addressing our feelings requires getting out of our thoughts for a little bit. Getting students engaged in other activities, such as storytelling, listening to music, fidgeting, or having a snack before restarting their day, gives them those "shake it off" skills to add to their toolbox.
These little gifts of time won't address more serious, ongoing emotional issues, but they can be that in-the-moment fix to bring a student back to learning. Over time, the individual attention and five extra minutes of feeling cared for can help support the relationships and resiliency students need to sustain them in the classroom, on both good and bad days.